Chibi Sins
by I Know Your Name
Summary: 6 months after Sanzo rescues Goku from the mountain, he goes on a mission, leaving him at a monastery for 2 weeks. When Goku becomes too much for the monks to handle, their methods of discipline become extreme...NOT YAOI OR SHOUNENAICOMPLETE!
1. The Monks of Chang'Lin

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Okay, here's a Sanzo/Goku fic. _No_ yaoi, shounen-ai, etc. Lots of love, but no...attraction...involved. This one's chaptered...(please don't kill me! shields head with hands) It was just rolling around in my head and needed to be let out...lots of h/c in this one. But _no shounen-ai_. Got that :) None whatsoever. **

**I apologize up front for the absurd monastery name. No, it's not Sanzo's "home monastery". It's a different one, despite the similarity in the names. Sorry. Oh, and I'm posting two chapters at once. Hopefully I'll get more done in the two weeks I have left of break...and update the rest...**

**Er...and there's some monk bashing in this fic. I have nothing against Buddhism--just taking a page from Saiyuki's general description of temple monks and their attitude towards Goku. **

**Enjoy, and review, if you would.**

* * *

The monks of Chang'Lin were annoyed. Master Sanzo and his little…heretic pet…had arrived two days ago. The arrival of a Sanzo monk at their monastery was a great honor, but their joy was tempered by the discovery that Master Sanzo's companion was less than…seemly. The boy was an eating machine; the first night there, he had eaten everything set before him, demanded more, and then, after being given a ridiculous amount of food, complained of even worse hunger. Master Sanzo had hit him with a fan and retired, dragging the child with him. 

Early the next morning Master Sanzo left, leaving the child in their care with the instructions to feed him a large amount of food at every meal and allow him to stay in the Sanzo's room. They hadn't wanted to allow the child to stay in the Sanzo's room; that special room was kept for the Sanzo, not random children the Sanzo chose to drag along with him.

If it had been an ordinary servant child, properly humble and clean, it would not have been a problem. But this child was nothing like that! The child was, to put it mildly, an extreme pain. He treated the Sanzo as if the holy one was an ordinary person; his _friend_, even! The Sanzo didn't have any friends! The Sanzo was the one who spoke with Buddha face to face! Even if the Sanzo did have a friend, it would most definitely not be a dirty, skinny little runt like that with huge eyes, a bigger stomach, and an obscene amount of hair!

For the few hours that they had been able to observe the two together, the monks had noticed that the brat had spent an unusual amount of time irritating the holy one—running around, making loud noises, stuffing his face, pointing out random items in the temple, as if each were new to him. Where _had _the Sanzo managed to pick up that brat? Perhaps the Sanbutshin had given him to the Sanzo as a means to higher purification—but that was impossible. The Sanzo had already attained the highest purity possible on earth.

So why would he take on this stupid brat? Why would he even care about the child? Perhaps he couldn't find a home for it…they didn't know.

All they knew was that ever since the Sanzo had left the child with them—for he had—five days ago he had left them, with orders to watch the child until he returned. He had been unclear on the length of time he would be gone. So far he had been gone five days, and the monks were on the edge of insanity.

They simply couldn't take this child anymore. Day one, they had been confident of their ability to handle him with the propriety and holiness appropriate to their status. They had given him food. When he had whined about having nothing to do, they had allowed him to walk quietly in one of the gardens reserved for the priests. Ordinarily they would never allow a brat like that into the priests' garden, but they made an exception for the companion of the Sanzo.

For the first four days, all was well. The child, while not exactly sedate, was manageable. But the fifth day…

Morning prayers had come first. Normally outsiders would not be permitted to partake in the prayers, but again, they had been making a special exception for the Sanzo's companion. Every day they had allowed him to take part in the prayers with them, even those prayers ordinarily reserved for the high priests. They had even permitted him to listen to lecture. For the first four days, except for the occasional fidget, the child had listened quietly through the hours of prayers and lectures. He had taken his meals with the monks, been almost entirely silent, even during prayers (which was very well; outsiders ought not to be allowed to participate), listened to lecture, walked quietly in the garden, and then retired to the Sanzo's room. The monks had actually had hopes that perhaps the child, unshorn and dirty as he was, was actually an acolyte of the Sanzo. Or perhaps his good behavior was simply due to the fact that the Sanzo had, before leaving, driven it into his skull that he was to be on his best behavior while he was gone.

The illusion of peace was utterly destroyed on the fifth day. They had woken the child for morning prayers before the sun rose, as usual. He had come with them into the temple, sat through five minutes of praying, and then started snoring. The high priest was infuriated and had ordered some of the acolytes to shake him awake. The child then glared at them and demanded to be allowed to go back to sleep. According to him, they hadn't let him sleep enough in the past four days. It was a ridiculous impertinence, especially considering the great honor that they were doing him by allowing him to pray with them in the first place. They had informed him of the great honor he was receiving by praying with them, only to have it thrown back in their face with the statement that "prayers are boring". The monks had been horrified, and had immediately evicted the child from the temple, fearful that such blasphemy would reach the ears of the Sanbutshin.

The child had come to breakfast a few hours later, only to be told that "ungrateful blasphemers did not deserve food". He had whined that he was HUNGRY, STARVING even. This enraged the head priest even more. As punishment, he forbade any of the monks from giving food to the child for the rest of the day. The child had lost his temper and said many irrational and completely untrue things to the head priest. The words that came from the child's mouth at that point were completely unrepeatable. The monks shuddered to think that the younger acolytes had overheard. The days of penitence required to make up for the sin of this one child would be innumerable. Cursing on temple ground…how could the Sanzo allow it?

Then again, perhaps the Sanzo didn't. Perhaps the Sanzo was completely unaware of the child's dirty habits. One of the more fastidious monks had made a point of listing the child's dirty habits for the enlightenment of all. It was especially good for the younger acolytes to view the brat's sins so that they would know what to avoid in future. The monks had posted this list outside of the prayer room of the temple so that the acolytes could all see it as they walked in.

The monk's list included:

1. Fidgeting in prayers.

2. Fidgeting in lecture.

3. Greed.

4. Gluttony.

5. Impertinence.

6. Lying in order to feed his gluttony.

7. Blaspheming by saying that prayers were boring.

8. Arguing with the head priest.

9. Stealing food from the kitchen (he had been caught doing this after meals and after he had been forbidden to eat)

10. Cursing.

11. Personal refusal to bathe.

12. Refusing to shave his head as was proper for a companion of the Sanzo.

13. Falling asleep in prayers.

14. Disobedience.

15. And, the worst sin of all…eating peaches from the tree of the Merciful Goddess.

* * *

After the incident at breakfast, the monks had released the child into the gardens in order to be free from his irritating presence. They could only hope that the Sanzo would return to. At least the brat wouldn't be able to do much in the gardens. 

Or so they had thought. Regrettably, the brat had headed straight for the one place forbidden to all in the gardens: the peach tree of the Merciful Goddess. This tree was the most carefully tended plant in the entire monastery. Every morning, before the sun rose, a specially purified acolyte would go to water the tree, protesting his unworthiness to the Merciful Goddess all the while, and then retreat. Once a week an even more stringently purified acolyte would prune the tree, carefully removing all dead branches, twigs, and overripe peaches. These peaches would be specially composted in a specially purified area with the ashes of the branches and twigs, which were burned in a holy fire. When the compost was ripe, another purified acolyte would spread it into the soil at the tree's roots.

The tree had been kept thus for years. It was an extremely old peach tree, and had managed to live so long only through the monks' painstaking care and the grace of the Merciful Goddess. Once, long ago, an unfortunate acolyte had made the mistake of trying to steal one of the peaches to feed his own stomach. The acolyte had been struck down with lightning from heaven. The lightning had paralyzed him for a week, after which he had been set up as an example to the younger acolytes. Since then, no one had touched the tree except to care for it.

Yet in the afternoon of the fifth day, when the sun was at its peak, the monks found that cursed brat in the tree, comfortably situated in a fork between two branches. His filthy body was pressed against the virgin bark, and he was _eating _the peaches of the Merciful Goddess. Judging by the amount of pits on the ground, he had devoured at least twenty of them before the monks arrived. As they had stood there, he tossed yet another pit to the ground and sunk his unclean teeth into another perfectly ripe peach.

No lightning struck him from heaven. The monks seethed, raging at the brat from the foot of the tree, not daring to actually touch the tree in order to retrieve him. The brat had refused to come down—had in fact climbed a little higher in the tree, ignoring their reminders that he was forbidden to eat, and their threats of lightning striking from heaven. He had only disrespectfully protruded his tongue from his mouth, waggled it at them, and said that he didn't think that the Merciful Goddess cared if anyone ate her peaches or not—she probably wasn't even paying attention.

This blasphemy enraged the monks. They couldn't believe the brat. The head priest had finally come out, ordering the brat to come down because of his promise to the Sanzo to be on his best behavior. The brat had sulked and finished his peach, ignoring the head priest's command to come down immediately. After licking his fingers (was it just their imagination, or did the sun shine a little brighter while the child was eating peaches in the tree of the Goddess?) he slid easily from the tree and stood before the head priest.

The head priest had had it. The brat had gone too far this time. He had tolerated everything else, but this was too much. He ordered the acolytes to grab the brat's arms. They tried, but the stupid child resisted. The monks were forced to knock him unconscious in order to accomplish the head priest's orders. Somehow, while they were fighting with the child, they realized that the brat wasn't fighting very hard; he was deliberately doing his best not to hurt them, despite his desperation to escape. It was almost as if he allowed himself to be captured—perhaps in devotion to the Sanzo? But that was impossible. The brat was not devoted to the Sanzo, else he would have better behaved himself in his absence.

The priest commanded the monks to drag the brat's body out a mile away from the monastery to the sinner's pit. The monks were at first startled by this order; though the boy was an obvious sinner, he had surely done nothing that warranted putting him in there. The priest, however, was adamant. The boy had caused nothing but chaos in the temple since his arrival. Even if he was a companion of the Sanzo, there was no way that the Sanzo was a willing companion of his. It would probably be a relief to the Sanzo to know that they were disciplining him for his sins. Besides, in the pit he would be unable to cause any more trouble. They would leave him some food and water at the bottom, and leave him there until the Sanzo arrived.

The monks had obeyed. They took the boy out, tied a rope around his waist, and lowered him to the bottom of the thirty-foot pit. It had been a well before its reconstruction. After the well had dried up, the monastery had paved its sides with smooth concrete, constructed a lid, and renamed it "The Sinner's Pit". Those who came out of it after the cleansing period called it the Hell. The monks understood this to mean that the sinners had come face to face with their own unworthiness in the pit and seen the true meaning of hell. Those who exited it had a different understanding, but it was not one that they were eager to share with the monks, as they might see it as proof of sin.

Halfway down, the boy had awoken and begun screaming, clawing his way up the rope as fast as possible. The monks had struggled to hold the rope until the head priest had ordered them to drop the child the rest of the way. The monks had hesitated momentarily, afraid that the fifteen foot drop might hurt the child. The head priest had angrily shoved them away from the rope, causing the child to drop with an ear-shattering scream. The thud of his body hitting the concrete of the well had deafened the monks who had dropped him, and they had run to the side of the well to ensure that the child was living.

At the bottom, they saw a pair of bright gold eyes dimming with angry tears. The child had shrieked at them to release him, to let him out of this pit. He had untied the rope around his waist and attempted to climb the sheer walls of the pit, but had fallen back to the bottom. He tried this again and again, trying to reach the sky and the monks, until the head priest ordered the monks to put the lid on the pit.

This shocked them. The lid was reserved only for the worst of sinners. It blocked out all view of the sky and sun, causing the pit to be entirely dark. There were minute holes poked around the edge of the pit to allow for air, but they were situated in such a way as to not allow any light into the prison. To disobey the head priest, however, meant certain excommunication, so the monks had covered the pit.

The screams that had come from the pit then were the worst they had ever heard. They were animal screams; the screams of someone pressed beyond endurance into something that was the most horrible hell anyone could endure. The monks had hurried back to the interior of the monastery, but the screams had followed them even there. The screams were breathless, endless, and horrible. The screams echoed throughout the entire temple for the rest of day. The next day, they had faded into soft sobs. Soft as the sobs were, they could still be heard throughout the entire temple. By the next day, even the sobs were silent. No sound could be heard.

* * *

The Sanzo returned a week later. 


	2. Chibi Sins

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Okay, posting second chap immediately after first. Am really enjoying this fic, and must confess, like second chap better than first b/c it's an actual POV, instead of the monks...more in next chap, but be warned for sadistic monks, Sanzo's language, and major hurt...almost horror...but it will get better, I promise...I wouldn't irreparably hurt Goku...at least, I don't think I would... ;) If you think rating should change, tell me. **

**Enjoy, and please review!**

* * *

Sanzo was pissed. He'd been on the stupid mission for two weeks, and now, when he returned to the monastery, he couldn't find the monkey anywhere. Not that that worried him. He couldn't care less what happened to the monkey—it was just strange. Irregular. Ever since he had found the brat six months ago, the monkey hadn't left him alone—he would go on missions with him whenever he could, and when he couldn't, he would wait for Sanzo to get back. When he did, the monkey would usually be watching from a tree or something, and jump all over him as soon as he was in sight. Not that he liked it. It was annoying. Annoying as hell. But he had gotten used to it. Sanzo supposed that he had to make some allowances for the brat; after all, he had been the first person the kid had seen since coming out of the cave... 

So where was the damn kid?

Sanzo went into his room and peeled off the outer layer of his robe, keeping the sutra with him. The damn robe was such a pain in the ass. After taking it off, he checked the room for signs of the monkey. Strange…the room was perfectly clean and neat, as if no one had been living in it for some time. Sanzo felt a chill go down his spine. That was strange…the monkey would have left some sign of his presence…dirt, weeds, food crumbs…but there was nothing there.

He grimaced. He should have thought of this before. The brat had probably decided to clean the place up for him in order to have "a special surprise!". Sanzo groaned and dropped to his knees. He was going to beat the shit out of the brat when he found him. He peered under the bed. That's probably where he was…gods knew he had probably shoved all the dirt under there in hopes that he wouldn't notice…

Sanzo blinked. There was no sign of the monkey, and the underside of the bed was just as clean, if not cleaner, as the rest of the room. He sat up, only to bump his head on the bed…DAMN it…he was going to _kill _that saru when he found him…

Irritated, he lit a fresh cigarette and left the room, not bothering to shut the door behind him. As he passed down the hall various novices and acolytes bowed, murmuring of how great an honor it was to have the illustrious Sanzo Houshi among them. Fuck that. Sanzo ignored the monks. He was tired of having them prate on and on about the great honor. It wasn't that great of an honor. If they would actually spend some time helping people instead of babbling on, they might actually be worth something. But no, that was too much to ask of these idiots.

He looked in the kitchen, but the stupid monkey wasn't there either. What the hell…

"Sanzo Houshi?" A voice said with quiet reverence. Sanzo turned around abruptly, cursing the idiots who constantly followed him…it would be such a relief to get out of this fucking monastery and away from them…annoyance to have just the brat following him, he didn't need these fools too…

Sweet joy, it was the fucking head of the damn fucking monastery! Oh, it must be by special grace of the gods that he had to talk to this idiot so early in the morning…

"What is it?" He snapped, not bothering to put on a nice holy face for the monk. The monk's back stiffened almost imperceptibly, but instead of reacting he bowed. Sanzo thought he could see a slight twitch in the man's cheek in reaction to the cigarette. Well, fuck that.

"It is such a great honor to have the sacred Sanzo Houshi here with us. Such an honor can happen only once in a lifetime, and it must be by the grace of the gods that you are here. In respect for them, would you do us the honor of praying with us?"

Sanzo glowered. The man talked like a fucking machine. "Why would I want to pray with you? I have to get back to Chang'An."

"But, honored Sanzo, it will take only a few moments of your time."

Sanzo sighed. The monk was obviously not going to let this go. He might as well get it over with. Then he would find the saru and get the hell out of this place.

"Fine."

The monk started babbling again in appreciation. Sanzo cut him off. "Show me the damn prayer room."

The monk flinched at his language and nearly frowned disapprovingly. Sanzo glared. He could stick his disapproval…

"This way, please." The monk disappeared into the interior of the monastery. Sanzo grumbled and followed.

A brief while later, they arrived at the prayer room. Sanzo glanced inside and saw that the monk had somehow managed to stuff the entire monastery in it. He could feel another headache coming on.

The monk looked at him quizzically. "Won't you enter, honored Sanzo?"

"Just a moment." Sanzo thought up a convenient excuse. "I have to prepare myself."

The man bowed. "As you wish, honored one." He stepped inside the room. "We await your presence."

Sanzo almost growled a retort, but thought better of it. Anything to get rid of the man. Safely away from the view of the monks, he leaned against the wall to the prayer room and blew smoke. He was going to finish the cigarette before he went in there, monks be damned.

He had stood there for a minute when suddenly something caught his eye. He straightened away from the wall and looked at it more closely. A piece of paper…?

**Chibi Sins:**

Fidgeting in prayers.

Fidgeting in lecture.

Greed.

Gluttony.

Impertinence.

Lying in order to feed gluttony.

Blasphemy (prayers are boring).

Arguing with a priest.

Stealing food from the kitchen.

Cursing.

Personal refusal to bathe.

Refusing to shave his head as is proper for a companion of the Sanzo.

Falling asleep in prayers.

Disobedience.

15. Sacrilege: eating peaches from the tree of the Merciful Goddess.

"Chibi sins"…chibi…Goku…a sudden feeling of dread came over Sanzo, quickly replaced with the more comfortable emotion of anger. These weren't sins! He jerked the paper from the wall. "What the hell…"

"Do you need something, honored Sanzo?" The head priest stood in the doorway of the prayer room, a questioning and yet still disapproving look on his face. Apparently his language wasn't to the bastard's tastes. Well, he'd hear a lot more of it if he didn't tell him exactly what was going on.

"What is the meaning of this?" Sanzo asked, shoving the paper in the priest's face. "'Chibi Sins'? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The priest bowed. "The list was placed there as a warning to the acolytes and younger novices."

"Obviously." Sanzo snapped. "Who's "sins" are these?"

The priest's jaw tightened at Sanzo's exaggerated emphasis of the word "sins". "Those of your companion, Master."

"What the hell…" Sanzo could feel his gut twisting. His headache was getting worse. "Where is he?"

"Where is who, your holiness?" The bastard's face was disgustingly bland. Sanzo fought to keep from grabbing the priest's robes and force him to stop this cat and mouse game.

"My companion, you idiot."

"Ah." The priest's face took on an expression of carefully schooled distaste. "We are disciplining him, my lord."

Disciplining him…what the hell…"Take me to him. Now."

"But my lord, the prayers…"

Sanzo glared. "Now."

The monk's face turned a delicate shade of violet around the ears. Sanzo smiled grimly. Served the bastard right. He could rail all he wanted, but when push came to shove, it was Sanzo who ranked here, not this idiot.

"This way, your holiness."

Several of the other monks had come out of the prayer room by this time and were standing around curiously whispering among themselves. The priest gave them a disapproving look and they separated, walking away from each other, but at the same time following the priest and Sanzo as they walked away from the monastery and towards the woods.

Sanzo couldn't believe it. The monks had "found it necessary" to discipline the monkey? Who gave them the permission to do it in the first place? Who did they think they were to interfere in his affairs? It was their own damn fault if the brat had caused trouble. He had ordered the monkey to be on his best behavior in the hearing of the monks, but apparently that wasn't enough for them. They wanted to take matters into their own hands. Sanzo's lips thinned. Well, if it was politics the bastards wanted, politics they would get, damn them. He'd teach them to mess with a Sanzo monk. They'd learn who was in charge here…

* * *

He then noticed that they had been walking for some time. Sanzo looked behind him. The monastery buildings were already out of sight through the trees…what were they doing to the saru, anyway? What had he done today to make them put him out here? 

"You." Sanzo barked, looking at the head priest. The priest's shoulders tightened, but he turned around and faced him.

"Yes, your holiness?"

"How much farther?"

"We're coming up on it now, my lord. It's approximately a mile away from the main monastery…"

"Whatever." What the fuck could they have a mile away from the monastery? Monasteries didn't usually have grounds this large—it wasn't practical! Looking around, he could see that the grounds hadn't been kept up, either—these were wild woods, not carefully pruned monastery gardens.

The monk stopped. "We're here, your holiness."

Sanzo stopped and looked around. They were in a small clearing in the woods. The grass and brush in the clearing was high all around, excepting the small path they were on. The path led straight on to…Sanzo paused. They had to be kidding him. This was some sort of sick joke, wasn't it?

"What the hell do you mean, bringing me all the way out here to show me this piece of antiquated shit?" Sanzo demanded, glaring at the head priest. The priest flinched.

"You asked to see your companion, my lord. This is where he is."

This was just sick. If it were even true.

"Is this some sort of a joke?" Sanzo growled, his voice rising. "To say you put my companion down…that thing…? Because it sure as hell better be."

The monk bowed. "It is no joke, holiness. Your honorable companion (so it was honorable now, was it?) is indeed in there."

Sanzo flicked his cigarette to the ground and faced the man head on. "Why the fuck did you put him in that thing?" He was already moving towards the hideous, lidded pit. It was surrounded by brush and growing over with moss…Sanzo could feel his rage growing as his put his hands on the lid. The thing was fucking heavy, at least four hundred pounds. There was no way anyone but a couple of grown men or a youkai could move that thing…

"Move it. Now." He ordered, his voice icy.

"Yes, your holiness." The monks bowed and began to shift the lid, groaning with exertion until it had completely slid off the pit. Sanzo ran to the edge and looked in. Gods, it was dark in there!

"Goku?" He called. Silence answered him. "Goku?" Again, nothing greeted his call. No stupidly happy voice, no cry of fear…nothing. Sanzo felt another chill shoot down his spine.

"Thrown down a rope." He ordered the monks.

"We don't have any with us, your holiness…"

Sanzo snapped around, teeth clenching the cigarette. "Then you sure as hell better get some."

Two of the younger monks ran off to retrieve some from the monastery. Sanzo turned back to the pit and looked down. The thing appeared bottomless. His teeth clenched tighter around the cigarette.

"How deep is it?"

"What was that, your holiness?" The head priest asked. Sanzo bit his cigarette in two.

"I said, how deep is the fucking hole!"

The priest straightened. "It used to be an old well, my lord. When last measured, it was forty feet deep."

"Forty feet…" Sanzo stared down the hole again. "How long has he been in there?"

The head priest frowned. "Extreme discipline proved necessary, my lord…"

Sanzo jerked around to face the priest, rage starting to twist his gut and heat his blood. "Just give me the fucking number, you bastard."

The priest's face whitened at this reference to his lineage, but he controlled his reaction. "Nine days, my lord."

Nine days…nine days…Sanzo looked down the pit again. A feeling of calm was starting to come over him, an emotion that he distantly recognized as unnatural. Goku had been in there for nine days. With the lid on. He had survived in the mountains for longer but…to lock a child into this Sinner's Pit…with the lid on…for nine days…Sinner's Pits had become outlawed in general Buddhism over three decades ago, because they were said to conflict with the teachings of Buddhism and the will of the Buddha. Sanzo had only seen a Sinner's Pit once before, and it had been nothing like this monstrosity…his jaw line whitened with pressure. This thing was the reason the pits had been outlawed in the first place…another thought struck him.

"You've been feeding him, I presume?" His voice sounded unnatural, even to his own ears. Damn it, control. Control was what he needed, not this automated sound. The words were being cut out, perfectly pronounced with no inflection…didn't want this bastard to think…

The monk nodded stiffly. "We gave him a rationing of food and water on the first day."

"The first day?" His voice was becoming even calmer, if that was possible. Sanzo could feel a chill sweeping through his limbs and settling in his heart. The brat wasn't dead. It wasn't possible for the brat to be dead. Yes, eight days without food and water in a bottomless pit would probably kill most children Goku's size…but he had lived for five hundred years without food in a cage on a mountaintop…surely he could survive now…

"Yes, we gave him enough food and water for a week."

* * *

What they considered enough food and water for a week was probably enough for two days, judging by the look on that smug bastard's face. Fasting rations. Sanzo was freezing over. He could feel himself retreating inside himself, chilling to numb. Vaguely, he was aware that the priest kept prattling on. He felt his eyes turn in his head and fix on the priest. Suddenly aware of his stare, the priest stopped talking. 

"Yes, honored Sanzo?"

Sanzo didn't say anything, couldn't say anything. He just continued to stare. The priest backed up a little, a drop of sweat beginning to roll down his face.

"Honored Sanzo?"

Again, Sanzo did not reply. Idly, he observed that the heat of the summer afternoon was beginning to stifle the priest, who was now sweating profusely.

"Master Sanzo?"

A different voice. Sanzo answered it while continuing to pin the priest with the empty stare.

"Yes?"

His voice was quiet, gentle even. The voice swallowed audibly.

"Er…the rope."

"Lower it down."

"The pit, my lord?"

"I believe that is what I just said." His voice continued to hold that strange gentleness. The head priest, trapped in the stare, felt the hairs on the back of his neck sharpen and rise. He began to edge out of the view of those almost black eyes, only to have them follow him. The Sanzo Houshi's head didn't move, but his eyes turned almost completely in their sockets to remain fixed on the priest. The priest found he couldn't move. More sweat began to roll down his face. His habit was getting drenched.

The monks lowered the rope into the hole. When it hit bottom, they peered into the pit.

Sanzo removed his eyes from the head priest, who quickly turned his back and staggered a few feet away. "Do any of you happen to have a flashlight?" He asked mildly. He didn't quite understand why the monks almost ran from him when he turned to look at them. Hadn't he just spoken nicely? He didn't usually speak nicely, they should be grateful.

The monks looked at each other. Those eyes…those demon eyes…one of the youngest stepped forward, hands shaking, to offer a flashlight. Sanzo accepted it, examined it carefully, switched it on and off, and then nodded to him.

"Very good." He said calmly, and went to the edge of the pit. The rope disappeared into the darkness about ten feet down. Sanzo switched the flashlight on and shone it into the darkness. The pit was still too deep for the light to reach. He switched the light off and turned to the monks.

"How long is this rope?"

"About a hundred feet, your holiness."

"Good." Sanzo pocketed the flashlight, took the end of the rope, and tied it tightly around the trunk of a nearby tree. Hauling up the rest of the rope, he tied the other end around his waist and got onto the edge of the pit.

"I'm climbing down." He glanced at the monks. "Please don't interfere with the rope or my progress."

They bowed, sweating. "Of course, honored Sanzo. We wouldn't dream of it."

"Very well." Sanzo began to lower himself into the pit, the flashlight on and clutched in his teeth. As he went down, he noted the sheer concrete of the walls. A brief flash of rage seared through his numbness. What the fuck were the bastards doing, putting a kid down here? The depth seemed endless, and it was only about ten feet in diameter. As he neared the bottom, he noticed claw marks in the concrete. He stopped and propped his feet against the wall, shining the flashlight on the marks. They weren't very deep, but they were black with old blood…his noise wrinkled. It really smelled down here. Sanzo continued to shine the flashlight on the wall as he descended. The claw marks got deeper as he descended, so deep that they had made long channels in the concrete that had broken through to the old stones of the well beyond. Little trails of soil piled up in the grooves. Sanzo shone his flashlight towards the bottom, saw that there was only a few feet left, and jumped to the ground. Untying the rope, he shone the flashlight around the bottom of the pit.

"Goku?"

His light stopped on a tiny lump at the other end of the pit. "Goku…" He went quickly over to the form and shone the flashlight above him, careful not to put it directly on him. The saru hadn't seen light for so long, the light would probably be blinding…he put his hand on the child's shoulder, wincing at how thin it was. The bone was almost poking through the skin…and where the hell was his shirt? Looking down, Sanzo saw that Goku's shirt was almost entirely gone. What had happened to it? Had the monkey eaten it? Had he been that hungry? What the hell…

Goku wasn't responding to his touch or his voice. Something wrapped itself around his heart and lungs, making him force every beat and breath. Sanzo shook him, resisting the temptation to shine the light directly on the child. "Goku!"

He wasn't responding. To hell with his eyes. Sanzo shone the light directly on the child. He froze.

Goku was alive. Barely. He was breathing shallowly, his eyes closed and his breath a rattle in his chest. He was emaciated, almost skeletal…though how the fuck had that happened, when he had survived on the fucking mountain for so fucking long without any fucking food?!?! When he touched Goku's forehead it was burning with fever. But what disturbed Sanzo the most were the bite and claw marks all over the child's body. They were deep and unhealed. Some of them were infected and bleeding pus. Sanzo's eyes narrowed.

That bastard up there was going to pay.


	3. Healing Manipulation

**Standard disclaimers apply. **

**Third chapter. Thanks to all who reviewed! I really appreciate it, and please review more! (huge pleading eyes) I love it when you do:) **

**Check out the healer. **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

When Sanzo got out of the pit, he had almost killed the bastard that ran the monastery. The prick had been standing there with fake worry on his face—if he had really cared so fucking much, he wouldn't have put the chibi down there to begin with. Instead of shooting the man full of lead, Sanzo had turned his back, ordered the monks out of his way, and returned to the monastery carrying the stupid monkey in his arms. He had then demanded rags, hot water, and medicine from the monastery supply and begun to clean Goku off. The monks had begged to perform this office for him, supplicating him with low voices and softly fluttering hands. Sanzo had stared. The monks had hurriedly backed out of the room, murmuring excuses and prayers. He hadn't bothered to watch them go, but had turned immediately back to the monkey.

* * *

He was still sitting there now, watching the monkey and waiting for the worthless brat to wake up. He couldn't even smoke. _Damn _that brat! That damn healer had better get here, or there'd be hell to pay.

Why wouldn't he wake up, damn it? Goku was tougher than this! He had survived on the fucking mountain for so long, why couldn't he survive a few days down a well…he was over five hundred years old! He had lived without food, water, companionship in that fucking cage for five hundred fucking years, and now he couldn't get through nine days in a dark hole with food _and _water? The brat had been alone, sure, but that couldn't be that big of a deal…he had been alone for five hundred years, after all…what were a few more days? Sanzo dropped his head into his hands. He was kidding himself.

Of course it would matter to the kid that he was alone now, even after five hundred years. He had been out of the cage for six months, free for six months…going back into a cage would be all the worse for that abrupt taste of freedom. He had been unchained, and now the monks had chained him again…his jaw tightened at the thought of those bastards. That head priest…just like those at the other temple, after…he…died…

He crushed the thought. It was stupid to waste time on that bastard. After Goku got well, that prick would see exactly who he was messing with, and regret it for the rest of his life. Sanzo smiled at the thought. So that bastard thought he could play in the game? That prick didn't even know what the game was. He'd show him what it was like to play with the big boys…

"Master Sanzo?" A timid voice said. Sanzo whipped his head around to pin the novice at the door with his eyes. The monk swallowed and flinched back. "I'm so sorry to disturb you, Sanzo Houshi, I really didn't mean to…"

"What do you want?" Sanzo snapped. The monk licked his lips. What a little coward.

"The healer is here, Master. He isn't our usual healer but was the only we could find on such short notice…"

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Sanzo snarled, cutting him off. "Show him in."

The monk bowed, blabbering something stupid, and left. The door slid shut and then opened again to allow a tall, cloaked figure to enter. The figure stood there for a moment, dripping with water (so it was raining? WHAT THE FUCK!) and staring at the sweating child on the bed and the monk sitting beside him.

The bastard was taking too damn long.

"Heal him, damn it!" Sanzo barked at the healer. "He's wounded!"

The healer slipped off his cloak and laid it on a table, then glided over to the bed, black bag in hand, and bent over the hurt child. Sanzo took a good look at the man while he was examining Goku. He was a professional, no doubt about that—his hands moved over Goku with the swift surety of someone well used to examination and healing. But something about him…Sanzo looked harder at the man, taking in the black hair, glasses, and pale aspect. He seemed oddly familiar somehow…but why the hell would he know some obscure healer from gods knew where? Just coincidence. The man probably reminded him of some person he had met a long time ago…he had a funny memory with faces that way…but he usually remembered names to go with them…what the hell…

"Master Sanzo?" The healer said quietly, straightening. Sanzo looked up at him.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry." The man closed his black bag, a slightly pitying smile on his face. Sanzo felt a stab of irritation shoot through him at the man's condescension.

"Sorry?!?!" Sanzo growled. What the hell…something gray was creeping into his veins, slowing his blood to a thickening waste. He could feel his heart beat slower and slower in his chest, hear the quiet rhythm in his ears that beat in time with the louder rhythm of the rain outside. A vein twitched in his forehead.

The man nodded, going over to the table, picking up his cloak, and swinging it about his shoulders. He turned to face Sanzo, that irritating little smile still on his face. What an arrogant…

"Your companion is dying. There's nothing I can do." The man turned to go.

Sanzo reached for his habitual anger, but found nothing. He reached for the words that were so comforting, so safe…words that masked his fear, transforming it into a shield of rage, but he couldn't remember them. The words were unreal. The man was unreal…if this were real, he would be able to feel something other than numbness, be able to hear something other than the shallow breathing of the child on the bed, be able to say something, anything that would drive the finality away.

"…wait…" The words that came from his mouth were in a voice not his own, a hoarse voice old with weariness…that wasn't his voice…"…wait…"

The man was already gone. Sanzo leapt from the chair, nearly knocking it over in his haste, and ran out into the hall to stop the man who had announced death, but the man had vanished. He ran out into the temple courtyard, shouting, but it was no use. The man was gone like he had never been. Sanzo grabbed the sleeve of a monk passing him, yanking the man forward in such desperation that the monk's eyes grew wide and frightened.

"Yes, Sanzo Houshi?"

"The healer…where is he?"

"Gone, my lord." The monk looked at him in concern. "Are you unwell?"

"Which way did he go?"

The monk pointed towards the gate. "Through the gates, my lord."

Sanzo ran through the gates, ignoring the shocked gasps and stares of the monks and the rain that fell relentlessly from the sky, drenching everyone with its fat biting drops. He was getting soaked but couldn't give a damn; he had to find that damn healer so he could tell him that it was all a lie, all a joke really…

The road was empty.

"Healer!" Sanzo shouted. "Healer!"

There was no answering cry. Sanzo felt his heart turn to lead within him, and turned slowly, heavily, back to the temple. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck! _"FUCK!"

"Master Sanzo…?" One of the monks drew closer to him, eyes wide and slightly disapproving. "Is something the matter?"

Sanzo drew his gun. "FUCK OFF!"

The monk jerked back, face grey. "Sanzo Houshi…"

"All of you! FUCK THE HELL OFF!" Sanzo snarled, waving the gun at them. The monks scattered like frightened hens, running for safer ground. Sanzo shoved the gun back into his jeans and headed back to Goku's room.

When he got there, Goku was tossing and turning feverishly, weakly calling his name. Sanzo quickly sat down in the chair beside Goku's bed and put his shaking hand in his hair.

"It's okay, Goku." Sanzo said quietly, viciously controlling his voice into some semblance of steady calm.

Miraculously, Goku's eyes blinked slowly open, the crust of dried tears and mucus clinging to his lashes. "Sanzo…"

"I'm here." Sanzo said, again brutally forcing his voice into calm. "It's all right."

Tears slid down the boy's face. His nose started running…and his eyes were too bright. Damn. Quiet sobs escaped him. "Sanzo…you were gone…" His hand weakly moved to grasp Sanzo's wrist, wrapping tightly around it as if he were afraid releasing would make him disappear.

"I know."

"You didn't come." Goku was openly crying now, the sobs a dull rasp in his throat.

"I came as soon as I could." Sanzo could feel the desperation beating at him, begging for control, but he crushed it as soon as he could hear its disgusting voice. "I…didn't know." Damn it, control! Let the monkey know how worried he was and he'd never hear the end of it…embarrassing…the thought caught when he remembered that Goku was dying. Dying…

"They locked me up." Goku's entire face was wet now; his tears falling like the rain outside. "And there was hardly any food, and it was dark Sanzo there wasn't any sun and the sky was gone and I could hear noises in the dark and you weren't there and I called and called but no one came and I know they could hear me Sanzo I know they could but no one came and I was all alone..." His voice had become a whine, trembling with the horrible memory of what had been done and what had happened. Sanzo felt a wave of rage wash over him. He immersed himself in it, hiding himself from the numbness.

"It's okay, Goku." Sanzo said, trying not to let his voice ice over. "They're never going to do that again."

"But I was alone!"

"Goku!" Sanzo snapped, willing himself not to break. He couldn't bear to lose someone, not again…"It doesn't matter what happens. I will always come for you. Every time. Got that?"

Goku blinked back tears. "But I was alone…"

"_Every time._"

"Every time, Sanzo?" Goku looked up at him, his unnaturally bright eyes wide and trusting. Sanzo cursed inwardly.

"Every time."

"You promise..." Goku broke off into a coughing fit. Sanzo nodded.

"I promise."

The door swung open, revealing a monk. "Master Sanzo, if we might…"

Goku screamed. The monk jerked back, eyes shocked and immediately angry. Startled by this sudden display, Sanzo looked at Goku. The child's eyes were huge with terror. Somehow, even in his wounded condition, he had managed to press himself back against the wall until he could go no further.

"Goku…"

Goku screamed even louder, eyes fixed on the monk in the doorway. The monk was starting to turn red with anger and embarrassment.

"Master Sanzo, I just wanted to know…"

Goku screamed again, this time so loud that Sanzo almost covered his ears to avoid the pain. The monk's face darkened and he opened his mouth to say something, but Sanzo cut him off.

"Leave."

"But Master Sanzo…"

"_Now._" Sanzo's voice turned to ice. The monk bowed; face still red, and left, closing the door behind him. Goku began to breathe heavily, and he slid down the wall back onto the bed, closing his eyes. His chest rose and fell in deep, ragged breaths.

Damn the monks. Damn them. And _fuck _that son of a bitch who thought he ran this fucking monastery. Sanzo closed his eyes. He was going to _kill _that bastard…

"Sanzo." Goku rasped. Sanzo looked down on the monkey.

"What is it, Goku?"

"Am I…going to die?"

Sanzo was silent for a moment, trapped between truth and indecision. The healer had said that Goku was going to die…but if he told him that, Goku might stop fighting to live…an idea struck him. Who knew what would happen as consequence…but he didn't care anymore. He had to do something now. If he lost someone again, he would die. He knew that. He couldn't lose Goku.

"No."

Goku blinked, his eyes widening. "I thought…I was…gonna die…"

"No, you're not going to die." Sanzo said, his voice hardening. There was one sure way out of this mess. He was going to have to take that road, and to hell with the consequences. To hell with all of them.

"Sanzo?" Goku asked tentatively, his voice still hoarse from screaming. "What's wrong?"

Sanzo reached towards the boy's head and with one quick snap of his wrist, removed the limiter.


	4. Courtyard Comforts

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Yes, the long-awaited final chapter. Sorry it's been so long! Life happened. Namely, college. And I joined an RPG. Well, _two _RPGs. And finally bought some _Saiyuki Reload _manga and read the Burial Arc (which was incredibly good, by the way--all of you must read it) and book six of _Reload _which is evil!!!!! And I am so mad (even though I know what happens)! sigh I _long _for April so that I may read volume 7 and see the gloriousness that is youkai Hakkai! Oh, and I also bought some _Gensoumaden Saiyuki _anime. **

**Oh, as for _Divorce_...that ought to be updated soon. And I have an Akki/Gure fic on the back burner that is _tormenting _me. I love their twisted relationship! Need more Gure goodness! . **

**Here you are, dear readers. Review, enjoy, and enjoy some more. **

* * *

Goku blinked sleepily against the bright light that was shining in his eyes. Why was it so bright? Irritated, he shifted and tried to go back to sleep. That didn't work either. He could hear high-pitched voices squeaking all around him, and it was really bothering him. His eyes slowly opened, squinting in the bright light of the afternoon sun. It was _really _bright outside! He didn't understand why it was so bright! He thought it had been raining…

"Goku." A voice broke into his thoughts. Goku turned his head to see Sanzo sitting next to him on the ground in the middle of…a stone courtyard? Startled, Goku sat up and looked around. He was in the temple….and there were holes in the buildings? Goku blinked. There was a really big hole in the main building! It looked as if something had bombed it or something! There was rubble everywhere! And the roofs of the buildings had holes in them! And there were…bodies?! His eyes widened. That was really scary! Why were there bodies? Goku saw the monks…scary monks…picking the bodies up and dragging them away. Some of them were mopping up blood. All of them were looking at him as if he wouldn't notice. But he did notice! Why were they looking at him? It was really weird!

Had youkai attacked? He looked up at Sanzo. Sanzo was calmly smoking a cigarette next to him, his robes rolled down so that his leather undershirt was showing. Goku opened his mouth to ask Sanzo what had gone on when he saw dark stains on Sanzo's white robes. He smelled blood on Sanzo, just like the blood in the courtyard! Goku was frightened. Had Sanzo been hurt?

"Sanzo!" Goku cried. "You're bloody! What happened!"

Sanzo snorted, the cigarette still in his teeth. "I'm fine."

Okay. But what about the monks? "But what happened? Everything's all weird! Did youkai attack?"

"No."

This was weird. Sanzo wasn't talking to him like normal. He was just giving him short answers. He didn't even beat him with the fan, and Goku had the feeling that he had probably done something that would make Sanzo want to beat him with the fan. And Sanzo looked tired. Really tired. And almost _old_. Sanzo wasn't old! Why did he look old? There were dark circles under his eyes and his lips were chapped and dry, like he hadn't drunk anything. And he smelled funny.

"What happened?"

Sanzo looked around the courtyard and blew out smoke, glaring at a monk who was heading in their direction. The monk quickly retreated.

"I took your limiter off."

Time stopped. Goku looked at the scene around him again, slowly this time, noticing every detail. There was a lot of blood. And a lot of broken things. And broken monks. His eyes began to tear up. He had broken everything. He had hurt the monks, even. A tear rolled down his cheek. He hadn't wanted to hurt the monks, even if they had been mean to him. He hadn't wanted to kill the monks! Why had Sanzo let him do that? Why had Sanzo let him hurt the monks?

Goku turned to Sanzo, his eyes wet and angry. "Why did you do that? Everything is broken now. And the monks are dead!"

"They aren't dead."

They weren't? Goku looked back at the bodies. No, they weren't. Some of them were still moving. But there was blood _everywhere._ It was really, really scary.

"But I hurt them!"

"Yes." Sanzo took another drag from the cigarette. Goku stared up at him.

"I hurt them real bad!"

"Yes." Sanzo wouldn't look at him. Goku's face began to crumple. Sanzo had taken the limiter off and it had made Goku do a lot of bad things. And now Sanzo wouldn't even talk to him. He began to cry.

A hand landed on his head, strong, lean fingers tangling themselves in his hair.

"Hey."

Goku continued to cry uncomforted by Sanzo's rare touch. He felt horrible. All the monks were hurt. They had been mean to him, but he still felt horrible. He didn't want them to die! He didn't want anybody to die!

"Hey." Sanzo repeated, his voice low. "Stop crying."

"I…I…c-can't." Goku sobbed, blubbering into his hands. "I-I feel bad!"

"Why?" Sanzo asked, his voice still strangely gentle.

"B-because the monks were h-hurt…and I-I did it…I-I didn't want to…I d-didn't mean to d-do it…"

"It wasn't your fault." The same gentle voice. Goku was leaning into the voice, taking subtle comfort in its unusually kind tone.

"But i-it was!"

"It was my fault."

Goku looked up then, staring into Sanzo's droopy purple eyes with his own wide, teary gold ones. "I did it."

"I took the limiter off."

"B-but why?" Goku tried to remember, but he couldn't remember anything. He remembered the monks being mean…he shivered. They had been really mean. He had been scared of them. Involuntarily he looked out at the monks gathering their wounded brethren and clearing away the rubble. He wasn't scared anymore, only sad. And upset.

There was a long pause, then Sanzo spoke softly, so softly that Goku almost couldn't hear him. "Because you were going to die, Goku."

Goku stared up at him, eyes wide. "Die…" He…he _had _been going to die. He remembered now. He had been really sick. He had asked Sanzo…if he was going to die…and Sanzo had said no…and then he had taken the limiter…Goku's eyes widened further. It had been really strange. Everything had gone black at that point, and he couldn't remember anything else. Tears trickled down his face and he clutched Sanzo's arm, not caring if the monk hit him with the fan or not.

The fan never came down. Instead, the hand tightened in his hair, its fingers wrapping themselves through the strands and touching the skin. Goku relaxed under the touch, his crying dying into a quiet sobbing, his fingers still clutching Sanzo's arm.

"Don't feel guilty." Sanzo spoke again. "It was my fault. It wasn't your fault, you stupid monkey."

"B-but…I feel bad."

Sanzo forced Goku's head up to look him in the face. His eyes were hard. "There's no point in feeling bad if you didn't have any control over the situation." His glare softened. "Goku…none of them died. Maybe they'll learn not to be so cruel."

"But…" Goku was starting to feel the burden lift, but still wanted reassurance. If Sanzo said it was okay, it _had _to be okay. Sanzo _knew_.

"Not more buts, you _baka_." Sanzo glared at him, then stood, dusting himself off. "Come on, let's get the stuff and get the hell out of here."

Goku sat on the ground for a moment longer, staring up at Sanzo. "They'll really be okay?"

"Yeah." Sanzo almost smiled then, a golden warmth that didn't quite touch his mouth but crept in to light his eyes. "They'll be fine." Damn them, they would be fine, the fuckers. Not that they deserved to live, after what they had done to the monkey. Sanzo was just glad that he had seen that bastard of a head priest have his arm almost ripped off. The son of a bitch had been lucky that Goku hadn't killed him. As far as Sanzo was concerned, death was too good for the bastard. He looked down at the monkey. "Let's go."


End file.
